I have faith. I trust God. I don't like his timing. I really don't like his timing. If you read 'Stepping Out On Faith' then you know what I'm talking about. I took a chance and made a leap of faith and my idea of how it would go versus how it's actually going is a bit different. Does that mean that I shouldn't have done it? Nope.
As part of the "Great Resignation" people all over are rethinking their work life. They're rethinking how they work, where they work, what they do, the hours they work. This country, the world went through an upheaval with Covid having the entire country shut down, tons of people losing their jobs, others working remote, the work force changed. Employers expectations changed. Employees expectations changed. People like me realized that companies really do find us disposable. People were sick and dying all over the place and their jobs were posted before the week was out. Some didn't even dignify an email notification to coworkers.
I don't know about you but, I wanted different. I worked remote the entire time everything was shut down and for months after while they went back n forth with how things were going to go and what they were going to do and not 1 time in over 24 months was I needed on sight. Then they said "come to the office" with fuel costs of $3 - $4 a gallon (and now they're even higher than that). With the turnover because of deaths, people retiring, people quitting, and people changing positions I was on my 3rd boss in less than as many years at a job I already didn't really like. This 3rd boss she was not boss material at least not any I had ever had. She was rude, hateful, demanding. I could go through a list of things but, she was a bully. She created a hostile work environment and she even went so far to try and retaliate against me for standing up to her and not breaking safety protocol and go into the office sick. I've never had a boss like her and I pray I never do again.
I prayed. I quit. I left and asked God to put in me a better situation. Do I think that was a mistake? No. Do I wish I hadn't done it? Heck no. Would I have done it knowing what I know now? Absolutely. Would I have done it differently? Not a chance.
I checked with God. I listened for his response. I waited on his answer. I planned it out. So far, It's been 82 days since I worked a 'traditional' job. 82 Days I've spent with my family, my animals, training my horses. 82 days of no one talking down to me, demanding I drive 50 miles 1 way for them to 'look at me' even though they won't be there themselves. 82 days of not worrying if I will have to take a vaccine. 82 days of not worrying if my kids need me will I be able to get to them. For those 82 days I have had every need met. God has met me at every turn. My horse got kicked in the mouth and a tooth had to be extracted as the result. Vet bill. Covered. My cat got attacked by something and the injury abscessed. Vet bill. Covered. Utilities lower than they've been in months. Health Insurance direct purchase, covered. There hasn't been a need God hasn't met. God is good.
I know I'm where I'm supposed to be. I know that "Stepping Out On Faith" was the right thing to do. I know that trusting God is the right thing to do. I know that giving my life to God and letting him be in control, is the right thing to do. When I drive this train it's a slow motion trainwreck and you can't look away.
I know that God knows I'm exhausted. I know that he knows that I needed the last 82 days to adjust and prepare for whatever blessing he has in store for me. I know that I will be ok because in my heart of hearts I'm where I'm supposed to be.
That doesn't mean that I won't get worried, it means I shouldn't worry. It doesn't mean that I won't have some fears, it means I don't have a spirit of fear. See worry and fear are of the devil. I'm a child of God. I'm also human. I may have a moment of weakness where I believe Satan's lies and I may take a minute to get my bearings but, God will prevail. I am a child of God. I am where I am supposed to be. God will provide for my family. God's blessing will be more than I can ask or imagine.
It took me a while to figure out what I wanted. I want to work remote 4-6 hours a day between 730a-330p (8hours if I can work straight through), with minimal video anything. I've discovered I'm camera shy. (I knew this years ago there are very few pics of me younger) Some of that has to do with my own insecurities, some of it has to do with my kids ruining me with facetime, some of it is I just plain out don't like video anything and find it useless. It makes me highly uncomfortable and that should be respected.
Now, what does that mean for me? Keep praying. Keep talking to God. Keep waiting. Keep the faith. Keep working. Keep listing on eBay. Keep trying to sell Q Sciences & Plexus. Keep trying to sell the poshmark listings. Keep Trying!! Something will stick. God will open doors. Bills will continue to get paid. Keep being thankful for the 82 (tomorrow 83) days I've been able to spend with my kids and family taking care of things that have gone years undone.
Side note. I am not on any type of assistance. God is Good. I am blessed.
What will I do tomorrow? The same thing I do everyday. Look at job postings, apply for jobs, exercise, work on my house, create ebay listings, spend time with my animals (the 2 and 4 legged kinds) and pray all day. When the time is right we will see God move. He's moving every single day.
If you're interested in seeing what it is I sell on eBay or find out what Q Sciences or Plexus are, or just curious as to what it is I'm doing that God is using look through my site all of my links are posted for easy access. Message me, ask questions. Sign up, get emails from me. Check it out...
In the meantime I'm going to keep pouring out my oil. 2 Kings 4:1-7