We're in a weird time. I'm still not comfortable in public. I really don't like large crowds; I can't say I ever really did. I found a way though. I found this church several years ago. My best friend sent me a YouTube link when at a point when I was going through some things, and I instantly connected. I still listen to that pastor / church today. The closest one is about 5 hours away. So, I have the app. I watch on YouTube, the app, pretty much anyway I can.
This morning. Kids are at that their dads. It's cold out. It's early. So, what am I doing? Watching. There's a problem though. This morning my faith is wavering. See I had this way I 'thought' things would go in my head but, it hasn't happened so I'm a little disheartened. I thought I would have a new job by now, I've barely had any interest with my resume. It's funny my friend yesterday says, 'everybody's hiring yet, no one is hiring anyone'. It sounds strange but, it's the truth.
I put resumes in every day. It's hard to find anything though because everything is online and if you don't have the right search criteria you don't see everything or you have to weed through the crap. Then there are so many scams out there now that it's hard to sort through things. You have to research the company before you apply and even then, you have to be careful.
The sermon this morning said, 'Get up and get ready for what's next'. I don't know how. I'm going to get up and do what I always do. I'm going to shower, pray, start the day. I'll look a few times through the day to see what new jobs have posted. I'll apply to things that look appealing. I'll write. I'll work on my side stuff.
I'm going with God. God is with me. My faith may be weak today but, I'm going to pray. I'm going to ask God to strengthen my faith. I'm going to keep knocking. I'm going to keep asking. The pastor today said, 'you're standing their waiting on an answer, and God is waiting on an action'. It's hard to relate. I'm making actions. I'm doing everything I know to do. I'm not going to stop taking action. There's a problem though. My personality when I don't see results when I think I should I get depressed and sometimes I quit on things, sometimes I quit on people. I'm working on making that change. Today that is requiring a lot.
How do you strengthen your faith when you feel like you're barely holding on? Pray
Matthew 17:20 "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'move from here to there' and it will move".
Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast."
I'm going to Pray. I'm going to keep asking God for what's next. I'm going to keep believing I made the right decisions that led me here. I'm going to keep trusting this is the 'middle ground' and that better times are ahead. I'm going to stop worrying and let God work.
Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."
Romans 8:28 "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those how love him, who have been called according to his purpose". Proverbs 16:9 "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
I'm going to take the advice of Proverbs and trust that God knows best for my life. I may have had a plan but, I need God to direct my steps on which way to go. When I need 'more faith' I'm going to pray for strong faith.